夢裡的孤獨

A lot of people think I'm quite lucky, as a girl, have a stable and decent good job and income, and close to home. Specifically, I now is to live in the home, life safe, warm and beautiful. This one and a half years since I also often comfort yourself, perhaps, I will gradually adapt to this life, and to have fun. I work as hard to accept now, people get along with and raw edge, I want to be a man like the copy, if you don't know if I play well such a role, or to be see through don't fit in with the clown, in the face of their own, "lost" is the best interpretation Lumiere.
I don't want to enlarge their feelings, for the world, personal gain and loss, and emotional really is insignificant. Reason to know too much, but carelessly, still be trapped in their own world. The world, "I" is the core of all feelings, all the relations, such a me, is deeply disturbing. I suspect I through, doubt all around, the real and unreal things together, the head of the ideas and opinions are immediate, fragments, difficult to form an organic unity of the whole, the whole people of fragmented.

Take a look at my plan, 2015 are some point I think I should do, or want to do, but it was still lack of motivation to achieve. You may think it is because I was too lazy, I thought so, too, DR REBORN from the previous case it seems that I not received a commonplaces, I try to study from the university, I have gifted student, and in other ways also dabbled and development, and from my plan, I am not an exile in his own person, is the lack of power? Or lack of action drive? Or do I really want to too much? Before much of the time, I let his temper, let your emotions, suddenly one day, I saw his long did not use the brain to do things, this is also I decided to make a plan in 2015. Seen here at the moment, perhaps more think I am emotional, contradictory, and it is, everyone, every thing I try to see from the many facets of the opposites, the sublation of not easily, with his own bundle, perhaps this is the reason for my indecision, and now I still didn't give up the job. I spent a year more half a year's time, just proves that I am taken a detour, but I continue to spend more time, to strengthen my argument, perhaps I will prove that it is a right way.
Talk about what I really don't deserve the life, can understand as this is my thing, at least I am thinking, my body and soul are not dead, I am positive, I do also but it is looking for a way out for himself. Always want to own life have a rich and colorful, even now looks bleak, I think, not let oneself habit dim, but how to shine again Vio-la.